What Makes a Life Go Well?
Looking back at the end of a long life, what would make it a good one? Happiness? Achievement? Virtue? Love? And do your answers change depending on whether you're the one living it or the one watching from outside?
Philosophers distinguish three main theories of wellbeing: hedonism (a life is good to the extent it contains pleasure and lacks pain), desire satisfaction (a life is good to the extent you get what you want), and objective list theories (some things, like knowledge, friendship, and achievement, make life better whether or not you want them). All three capture something real and leave something out.
The three theories
Hedonism says that pleasure is the only intrinsic good and pain the only intrinsic bad. The test: would you trade your current life for the Experience Machine if it gave you more pleasure? Most people's reluctance suggests they value something beyond experience.
Desire satisfaction says wellbeing is getting what you want. But which wants? You at 16 wanted different things than you do now. Your future self might want different things still. Adaptive preferences (wanting what you've been conditioned to want) are a problem: someone raised in deprivation might want very little, and satisfying those few wants seems insufficient for a good life.
Objective list theories hold that some things, like knowledge, close relationships, achievement, health, and deep engagement, make life go well regardless of whether you happen to want them. The risk: who gets to decide the list?
The problem of other perspectives
Here's a dissonance worth exploring: a life that looks good from the outside and feels good from the inside are different things. Great achievement often comes with misery. Some very happy people have, by external measures, accomplished little.
Which should we prefer: flourishing that feels good, or flourishing that looks good? And for whom: yourself, your children, your society?
The question that changes with age
Most people's answer to "what makes a life good" changes significantly across their life. At 25, achievement and experience tend to dominate. At 60, relationships and meaning tend to dominate. At the end, almost no one mentions their job.
What does your current answer reveal about where you are right now?